SELAH volunteers from all over Israel gathered for two days of emergency training and enrichment in the Jordan Valley, based at the Nahara Guest House of Kibbutz Ashdot Yaakov, on December 24-25, 2010. The group reflected the great range of SELAH caregivers who reach out to immigrants in times of acute crisis, with compassion and practical aid. They included veteran immigrants and native Israelis, Russian-, Amharic-, and Farsi-speakers, doctors, psychologists, social workers, university students – and a strong representation of immigrant trauma survivors helped in the past by SELAH who are now "giving back," with their time, their concern, and their deep understanding of the needs of the bereaved and crisis-stricken.

At the heart of the seminar were the lectures, workshops and training sessions conducted by SELAH staff and guest speakers, including clinical psychologist Eleanor Pardess, and expert on Ethiopian issues Micha Feldmann. They covered in depth such topics as preparedness for emergency situations, growth after crisis, and the special needs of the Ethiopian immigrant community. Short films poignantly told the stories of some of the immigrants now receiving SELAH care in the face of trauma.

The retreat also offered guided tours and hikes in the Jordan Valley, the heart of early Israeli settlement and agriculture with its magnificent views of both nature and Israel's beginning years. The evening program brought the volunteers together for an improvisational session led by director Itzik Hadar.

Throughout the year, throughout the country, SELAH volunteers work alone or in small teams. For these two days, they joined their peers, shared challenges, problems, and even laughter, and saw the larger picture of SELAH, in which they play such an essential role.

During the Chanukah 2010 vacation, SELAH gathered together 68 bereaved Ethiopian parents and children from all over Israel, for a two-day therapeutic healing retreat, in the area of Kibbutz Degania, which was Israel's first kibbutz.

SELAH had been there to support the families when they were hit with life-shattering tragedy, giving immediate emergency aid and support. Now, SELAH offered them the chance to be strengthened and supported by each other. The first day of the healing retreat consisted of recreational and cultural activities in beautiful historical settings. On the second day SELAH conducted our unique workshops for coping with bereavement. Conducted by an Amharic-speaking social worker and community worker, the workshops gave the adults a compassionate forum in which to share their life stories…. 

-- A 74-year-old woman who recently lost her husband, having lost her two children two years earlier, within a month of each other. 

-- A father of four whose wife and son were killed in a fire that broke out in their home.

-- Parents whose daughter was murdered by her husband and who are now raising her son, age 3, along with their own four children. 

-- A long-time widower whose only son, 15, whom he had been raising alone since the age of 2, fell from a roof while at school, after possibly having been pushed.

For some, it was the first time they had been able to speak to others about their tragedy.

The unique program, taking place in the heart of the State of Israel’s early history, but tailored to the needs and culture of immigrants of Ethiopian origin, ended with the candle-lighting of the last night of Chanukah, signifying the sharing of warmth and light – and hope for the future, even in the face of terrible loss.

In late November 2010, 63 bereaved immigrants from the Former Soviet Union, now living throughout Israel, joined SELAH social workers, caregivers and youth guides for an overnight healing retreat and peer support group.

The first day of the retreat was spent in separate age appropriate activities which included hiking, history and stories in the Bet Shemesh area and the Judean Hills. That evening, Shabbat candles were lit, followed by Kabbalat Shabbat, Kiddush, and a festive family dinner. The adults were then treated to a moving performance by Russian actress/singer Natasha Manor, whose heart-rending songs and readings evoked images, memories and emotions from their native country.

The next day, the children went to the renowned Ramat Gan Safari, as their parents joined intensive SELAH healing workshops facilitated by Russian-speaking social workers, psychiatrists, and caregivers, with a separate group for bereaved parents, and another for widows, widowers and siblings. Many of the immigrants were participating in such a group for the first time. Alone and isolated, they were supported and strengthened by others. Using unique, specially developed and culturally sensitive techniques for safely expressing deep and harsh emotions, facilitators encouraged sharing, interaction, connection, comfort, and hope.

Held toward the end of the 2010 summer vacation, this retreat gave immigrant grandparents raising their orphaned grandchildren a much-needed chance to take a break from their daily lives, to be together, sharing experiences, challenges and coping strategies.

All the families are shadowed by tragedy and traumatic loss, with parents surviving their children. Grief-stricken, the elderly grandparents still have to go on, for the sake of the orphaned grandchildren now in their care. During the year, many of the participants attend regular peer support meetings run by SELAH’s Russian-speaking professionals. Here at the retreat, they once again participated in an intensive support group where they spoke of their fears, their love – and hopes -- for the children, the problems of protecting and still letting go, and many of the dilemmas for which there are no easy solutions.

For the children, it was a holiday. Having lost their parents, and being raised by elderly grandparents, they, too, had much in common with each other and bonded in organized group activities, hikes and recreation. Said one child who recently lost his mother: “In school, I’m the only one without a mother and father. I thought there was nobody else like me.” At the SELAH retreat, his first, he realized he was not alone.

For the grandparents, knowing the children were in good hands, with experienced guides, they allowed themselves to relax, enjoy, and to be supported and strengthened. After a full day of touring in the beautiful area of the Sea of Galilee, with separate age-appropriate activities for the children, the families reunited for an evening sail on Lake Kinneret [Hebrew name for Sea of Galilee]. The gentle breezes, the quiet lapping of the water, the tired children in their arms, this was a rare moment of peace and pleasure in their challenging and difficult lives.

The retreat ended with one question on many of the grandparents’ lips: When can we meet like this again?

On May 20-21, 2010, SELAH organized a healing retreat for Ethiopian families where the older brothers and sisters are raising their orphaned younger siblings. The program, including an overnight stay at Kibbutz Nachshonim, was filled with age-appropriate activities and opportunities to come together as a whole group. It combined recreation, a taste of history, along with peer support, community involvement, healing and strengthening.

For the participating families, it is critical to receive caring support and to enjoy some time out, where they are relieved, even if only for few days, of some of their responsibilities. Two workshops took place for the siblings who head the families. Led by a social worker and a psychologist who speak their native Amharic and in the presence of their peers, they were able to safely share their challenges and difficulties. With this peer support and professional counseling, the terrible isolation could be eased, and some sweetness added to their lives.

On the first day of the retreat, accompanied by trained youth guides and counselors, participants toured the Burma Road, Ha’Masrek Nature Reserve, and the ancient Herodian Antipatris fortress. That evening, SELAH volunteer Major Shlomi Bicha, a hero in the Second Lebanon War, spoke to the group about his experience growing up in Israel without his parents and becoming an officer in the Israeli army. He inspired the children with his personal story.

The second day – yom kef –included swimming, games and rides in the Nachshonim Park, along with a chance to meet and interact with the families of the employees of Pfizer Pharmaceuticals, the seminar's sponsor.

Address by Ofra Feinmesser

Country Manager, Pfizer Pharmaceuticals Israel

Pfizer joined SELAH and its director Ruth Bar-On about three years ago. We were happy to discover an organization which is an amazing family and to be part of it. Pfizer is a pharmaceutical company and enjoys being part of the community and contributing, by doing, towards a better community.
SELAH enables us to connect and fulfill this vision, and to take an active role in the doing of good works and giving mutual help to one another. Whoever can help, or reach out to another, during a period of crisis, has this excellent opportunity to fulfill the act of giving.
Joint activity, which is a positive and good experience, with children from the SELAH family is a way for us to express our involvement in community life. The joy and fulfillment are enormous, and we are proud to partner with SELAH in its worthwhile activities.

                
Left: Shlomi Bicha (right), SELAH volunteer, with Michael from Ofakim, who was raised by his older sibling after losing their parents.

Right: Mintamer (right) and Fetelwork, each of whom is raising her younger siblings after losing their parents.

Left: Zohar, SELAH counselor (right), with Melessa at Park Nachshonim.

Right: Limor Regev, who heads the SELAH retreat program (right), with Bat-El.

Orphaned children being raised by older siblings, at the SELAH seminar, Kibbutz Nachshonim

On Monday, March 22, 2010, SELAH brought together some 70 immigrant grandparents and their orphaned grandchildren for a day of travel, fun – and support. The trip was planned for the beginning of the long Passover school break, as holidays are very often a sensitive period for the bereaved. Throughout the year SELAH runs support groups in the north and Tel Aviv area for the grandparents faced with the daunting task of child-rearing. On this day, both groups merged, bringing along their grandchildren and some new families as well. New supportive friendships formed; old connections were strengthened.

The day's activities centered around Old Gesher in the Jordan Valley, a restored site that tells the story of the establishment of Jewish settlement in this area since the early 1900s, leading up to the War of Independence, when it came under attack. For the new immigrant grandparents, and the children as well, it was a rare, firsthand glimpse into Israel's early challenges and hardships. Guided tours, and a sound and light show in Russian, brought history alive. With jeep trips and hiking for the teens; a visit to a goat farm for the children (including the chance to prepare their own cheeses), an art workshop with objects from surrounding nature for the grandparents, topped off by a shared, bountiful meal "al ha'esh," [barbeque], the day was rich with sights, tastes, and hands-on experience. Fifteen SELAH trauma professionals, youth guides and volunteers, backed up by security and first aid teams, ensured the care and support of this vulnerable group, out for a day of adventure and connection.

Klara Burlakov with her great - granddaughter                                                 Alexander Juk with his grandson

Grandparents raising grandchildren preparing food                     13 year old Masha with SELAH counselors

On the second day of Chanukah 2009, SELAH brought together orphaned Ethiopian children and the older siblings raising them for a multi-track outing of guided traveling, support, and celebration. Some 40 people joined the activities, which took the children, accompanied by youth guides, to the Ramat Gan Safari park and the Neot Kedumim biblical preserve, while the older sibling caregivers toured Tel Aviv’s historic Neve Tzedek neighborhood. The young adult caregivers then took part in an intensive peer support session, facilitated by an Amharic-speaking social worker and psychologist. All burdened with enormous responsibility at a young age, here they aired their doubts and difficulties, drawing on each other and the professional counselors for help finding coping tools. The group facilitators, in addition to touching on each sibling/caregiver’s situation and problems, also helped to determine which of them might need further, more personalized help.

Each family came with their pain, as well as their struggle to build a new life. Among them: Aliza A., 23, and her two younger sisters, ages 8 and 12, whose mother and father died in 2007 and 2009 respectively. Aliza is studying science in a university preparatory program and hopes to become a chemist. Germau, 18, came with his four younger orphaned siblings, ranging in age from 8 to 14. Their mother was brutally murdered in her ninth month of pregnancy. The children all live in the home of a married older sister, who has children of her own to care for.

The Chanukah trip culminated in a Chanukah party at the Maccabim home of Micha Feldmann, director of SELAH’s Ethiopian Program, where they were joined by the chief rabbi of nearby Modi'in, Rabbi David Lau, who blessed all the children. On this second night of the holiday, in the place where the festival of Chanukah originated, each family was given their own chanukiya, and in the room filled with the light of many candles, they ended their day in song together.

Rabbi David Lau and from the right: Yasmine,
Esther, Aliza and Hadas.

In the foreground from the left  Lemlem, Zenash,  and Mintemer 

Left picture: Danny Nattler with Mantagbosh                
Right picture: The Muluye Family from left to right: Mintemer, Adam, Zenash, Havtom and Avi-el

Micha Feldman with Esther and Hadas             Sanayit Tadesse                              Merav Zohari hugging Sanayit and Melesse

Twenty-five immigrant families (62 people) joined SELAH's June 2009 healing retreat for the bereaved, mourning loved ones lost in rocket attacks, war, accidents, drowning, sudden medical emergencies and violence.

Each family had received critical emotional and practical support at the time of their tragedy. At the retreat, they joined peer support groups (one for bereaved parents, the other for widows and widowers) led by trauma professionals, designed to strengthen the bereaved through expressing and sharing pain and together developing tools for coping with loss.

While the children participated in separate activities led by experienced youth guides, the adults toured nearby Caesaria and the Tel Dor antiquities, enjoyed an evening song performance in Russian, and also had the chance to swim and relax with healing treatments of their choice. For many, it was the first time they had traveled in Israel outside their home town.

Left: Limor (r), SELAH's retreat coordinator, on hike with Frima S., whose son Alex was killed in battle during the second Lebanon War.

Right: Pinchas Chanoch (r), SELAH volunteer, with Victoria, K., and daughter Nicole. Victoria's husband died suddenly of a heart attack two weeks before Operation Cast Lead.

Left: Christina L. with son Zachar, 4. Christina's husband died suddenly in September 2008.

Right: Bereaved immigrants visit Tel Dor antiquities during SELAH healing retreat: From right: Almaz R., a single mother of two children now also raising her late sister's two children; Dr. Alexander A., whose son Grigory, a reserve soldier, was killed in a rocket attack during the Second Lebanon War; Lydia S., whose son Pavel was killed in a Hamas attack on an IDF tank in June 2006; Oleg (behind Lydia S.) and Tatiana M., whose teenage daughter Katya was killed in September 2007 in a car accident; and Anna T., whose son Yevgeny was killed in battle during the Second Lebanon War.

Left: SELAH social worker Orian with Maya G., whose mother died when she was one month old. She is being raised by her father and her grandparents.

Right: Volunteer from Toronto Jessica with Michael M., whose father was killed in a work accident.

Paulina G. (r), whose husband Shimon was killed in the Second Lebanon War, and Ludmilla M., who lost her son Alexander in Operation Cast Lead.

The SELAH caregivers who accompanied the crashsurvivors and their families from the time of the accident took them to Jerusalem on February 24, 2009 for their first organized trip in the country. For some, it was the first time they had left the rehabilitation center.

They ranged in age from their twenties to their sixties. They had suffered terrible wounds, but on this day, they walked on their own, with SELAH caregivers nearby ready to give a hand. Their recoveries had been described as remarkable by the doctors.

The excitement of the wounded visitors at coming to Jerusalem was tremendous, especially when they visited the Church of the Holy Sepulcher and the Western Wall. The rabbi of the Wall told them how he had been in contact with the rabbi of St. Petersburg, where the travelers came from, and that the people of both cities were praying for their recovery.

Luba S., who suffered severe head injuries and whose son and husband were killed in two separate car accidents in Russia, said, "I feel so many things, appreciation and gratitude, most of all, for the humanity you invest in people. The rehabilitation center is a good place, but today, it's like coming out into the free world!

Vladislav D., 30, who suffered many broken bones, a crack in his spinal column and a head wound, is already planning for the future: "This is not my last time in Israel. As soon as my health permits, I am coming back."

SELAH update… Some of the wounded were able to return to Russia soon after the daytrip. Others are staying on in Israel for continuing treatment, and SELAH remains with them.

From misery to joy,
from mourning to a holy day,
and from deep darkness to great light.

(From Passover Haggadah)

 

In the tradition of holiday giving in Israel, The Pfizer Company, in cooperation with SELAH - Israel Crisis Management Center, initiated an activity in nature for new immigrant grandparents raising their orphaned grandchildren. This activity was meant to give an embrace, strengthening and support to new immigrants, while deepening their connection with the country, its landscapes and people, as Israel marks 60 years of independence.

 

 

Photographer: Sasha Alechov